so i mixed the tablets like it said to do on the website and washed half of it down with water, and it didn't seem right. so for the remainder i used chivas instead and i knew somehow that that was correct.

and ten minutes later, my throat goes dry and there's this acrid taste of sulphur at the back of it and i have to keep swallowing or i will dry up, dry out, just fucking DIE because it grinds like sand and it smells like rotorua and this is what hell is like, this it what the wind in hell smells of, this is what the air in hell tastes of.

in the distance, there's this pain in my gut. something tells me it hurts. it actually hurts bad, but i push the thought away. it's annoying. like a fly.

i stare at my laptop screen as the windows media player plays, and it's so utterly lovingly fascinating. cominatcha, the swirling colors declare themselves, and i agree. the words that leak out of the speakers roar like the sea. i can't see the sun anymore, but i don't mind, you're by my side, and i feel fine. i use the words like a blanket and lie in them. they're warm and comforting. i mouth the lyrics to myself. butterflies in my head, dead moths that leave my (sulphur) stinking mouth.

when it was over, i needed to pee and i needed a drink. or two. maybe more. my stomach creaks and knots itself over and over again. i'm hungry and have to search the kitchen for food. i want to puke but nothing comes up but stringy spit. i look at it stretch and plop into the toilet bowl and immediately feel like puking again.